Bittersweet Memories and Cranberry Sauce

I always thought of myself as a mature kid. Markers of my full grown abilities were imagination, a faculty for prolonged unsupervised play, and a talent for cooking.  If I could cook–it seemed–I was old enough to take care of myself.

I learned the basics young. In nursery school my teachers showed me how to mix chopped cranberries, orange zest, and sugar in a bowl to make a simple cranberry sauce. By second grade I could put together a bowl of cereal without help, spread butter on toast, and decorate apples with cloves for Christmas ornaments. In third grade, I mastered cinnamon sugar toast and began learning how the numbers on the toaster could turn frozen food into something warm and satisfying. By the time I reached the fourth grade, I could make snacks for my brother and sister when we got home from school and oversee my siblings in their raucous play.

Being able to cook made me employable. I was a babysitter by age 10.

Maybe its because I was the first born. Perhaps, it was because I was self reliant. It may be the fact that I was an independent child capable of feeding herself and her siblings. I could re-heat chicken nuggets and fish sticks without anyone standing over me. I made pizzas out of pita bread, Ragu tomato sauces, and chunks of the random cheeses my mother bought at the grocery store. I was creative with my cooking. I found recipes in cookbooks and began dreaming of the meals I would cook.

Dreams become reality

The summer after I turned ten, my mother packed an extra big suitcase for a trip across the country. I held my breath as Mom filled the olive green suitcase with big sweaters, cotton pants, and prayer beads. She stuffed a canvas bag with my sister’s baby clothes and toys.

“Are we going on a trip?” I asked. Continue reading “Bittersweet Memories and Cranberry Sauce”

Thanks Giving

A house burns down. A loved one dies. A relationship falls apart. A love ends. A lifetime of work comes to a crashing halt. Mother nature chews up homes and spits out splinters. When the bedrock of one’s life is shaken, the structures above it give way.

When everything you knew is no longer valid and life as you knew it is scattered to the wind, what continues to be true? What pieces of your life do you collect up and take with you?

What is it that you hold in your two hands and say “Thank God I have this.”

Maybe that thing you hold is a loved one, a treasured snapshot, a letter, a phone with a loved one on the other end, a piece of art, or a piece of toast handed to you by a friend. Maybe it’s just ashes that’s left, and you’re thankful for the life you still have. Regardless, when all is lost, it is the simple, beautiful things that remain that you give thanks for.

Things turned upside down for me a week ago when I got honest about some difficult things going on in my life. I stood up for myself, got honest, and took a stand for what it is I want.

Then, I my placed my life into a crucible and lit a match.

My life has been re-written a million times in just one week. Up is down. Down is east. Left is right. Day is night. Right is wrong. My structured life with pretty little hospital corners and black and white decisions no longer exists. I live in a world of gray. Now, my pristine bed is unmade, and—the irony isn’t lost on me—the sheets I sleep on are torn from all my tossing and turning.

What remains? Beautiful, profound things. Friendship. Family. Sunlight. A mouthful of food when I’m hungry. Sleep. A snapshot. A journal. A blanket to keep warm. The view from atop a mountain. An air mattress to sleep on. A vegetable stand at the farmers’ market. A slice of blueberry bread. Love.

When all is lost, it becomes a lot easier to see what’s truly important. The frivolous items or ideas I collected up and held close for safekeeping have fallen away. I don’t need those things any more. I give thanks to the true things. My friends. My family. Sunlight on the ocean. Food in my belly. The feel of the sun on my face.

What remains is love. Continue reading “Thanks Giving”

Thanksgiving musings and food blog photography

food blogger photography

Out of habit, I photograph what I cook and what I eat. Though this is not a novel idea—many food writers and bloggers do such things—but I often forget how unusual a two minute food photography session may appear to be to all of my non-blogger friends.

Take for example Thanksgiving dinner. The oddity of my habit was illuminated (literally) after the first course was served. As guests lifted their first spoonful of cauliflower and almond soup to their mouths, I snatched my bowl off the table and placed it on the floor. As the room went silent, I stood small white bounce card along side of the white puree, pulled my Lowel Ego light from its permanent near-the-dining-room-table-spot, powered up my camera, turned it to the “flower” setting, and started snapping photographs.

thanksgiving dinner 2008

You could have heard a pin drop as my ten dinner guests stopped eating and watched me snap photographs of the soup.

“For those of you who don’t know,” my husband explained “Brooke is writing about our meal tonight for her blog.” Guests nodded, still stunned by my lighting set up.

Hans continued with his gracious explanation of my handiwork. “And if for any reason you do not want to be photographed–for fear of being seen by some authorities somewhere…Now is the time to let us know.”

Luckily, our guests were happy to fully participate.

food photography

thanksgiving dinner 2008

 

Other Post-Thanksgiving aftershocks:

If you’ve ever entertained the idea of opening your own restaurant and wondered what it would be like, take one Thanksgiving dinner for twelve, multiply that by 5 (if you imagine running a small restaurant) or twenty-five (if you dream of a big place), then erase all familial niceties (dishes can and will be sent back if not perfect), and a stop watch (rigged to give electric shocks or electronic withdrawals from your bank account) in order to regulate timely delivery of all courses. Then, sprinkle on top of this equation equipment failure, issues with employees, management struggles, purchasing costs, wasted product, food shortages, and abuse of legal (or illegal—your choice) substances, and you’ll have a sense of what it is to run a restaurant.

This time last year

One year ago today, I posted my first story that charted what was then, the beginning of my culinary journey from plate to page. On this one year anniversary, I would like to say thank you to my inspirations: every piece of fruit and vegetable, farmers markets, delectable cheeses, flavorful meats, aromatic wines, full plates, discovered ingredients, innovative and failed recipes, stirring restaurant experiences, chefs, mentors, bloggingfriends, inspirational food writers, food politicians, readers, my writing partner, my friends and my family.

With all my heart, I thank my wonderful husband for his fearless support and for recognizing the future for us over that revelatory meal in Umbria.

Dinner in Panicale, Italy

I raise my glass to all of it. Happy Anniversary, Food Woolf!